A common cause of tension in personal relationships is conflict over money. Some people seem unable to work together to perform even the fundamental tasks of managing money, such as reconciling the checking account, creating a workable budget, and paying bills on time. Often one of the partners brings a great deal of debt to a relationship. Other couples get into financial trouble because they use credit too often. Mutual trust in money matters can be developed and must be to have happy interpersonal relationships and achieve financial success
Managing money includes such tasks as handling the checkbook, overseeing the budget, and doing the household shopping. Couples should agree on who will carry out these day-to-day chores and then carry through on their responsibilities. Financial experts recommend that each person in a relationship keep some money of his or her own. For dual-earning couples, this can be accomplished by setting up three checking accounts: a discretionary account for each individual (two accounts) and a third joint account. Then clearly specify the budget categories related to each account. Each partner can then feel that he or she has access to money that the other partner does not control. These feelings of autonomy encourage independence and self-control in a relationship rather than dependency on the other person. While managing family money is a major task, decision making is where disagreements typically arise. Shared decision making is the best model when setting goals; when contemplating any major expense, such as buying automobiles and housing; and when conferring on key topics such as insurance, estate planning and investments, and long-term financial plans. One useful rule is to give each other veto power over any decision to borrow.
Managing money includes such tasks as handling the checkbook, overseeing the budget, and doing the household shopping. Couples should agree on who will carry out these day-to-day chores and then carry through on their responsibilities. Financial experts recommend that each person in a relationship keep some money of his or her own. For dual-earning couples, this can be accomplished by setting up three checking accounts: a discretionary account for each individual (two accounts) and a third joint account. Then clearly specify the budget categories related to each account. Each partner can then feel that he or she has access to money that the other partner does not control. These feelings of autonomy encourage independence and self-control in a relationship rather than dependency on the other person. While managing family money is a major task, decision making is where disagreements typically arise. Shared decision making is the best model when setting goals; when contemplating any major expense, such as buying automobiles and housing; and when conferring on key topics such as insurance, estate planning and investments, and long-term financial plans. One useful rule is to give each other veto power over any decision to borrow.
People Ascribe Strong Emotions to Money
People often ascribe a number of emotions to money, including freedom, trust, selfesteem, guilt, indifference, envy, security, comfort, power, and control. They bring with them the patterns, beliefs, and attitudes that were prevalent in their family oforigin. It is essential to recognize the importance of these emotions. Many people want to hold on to their fiscal autonomy as long as possible, and they may be embarrassed to inquire about how much others even loved ones spend, earn, or owe. For many people, money is an area of self-suspected incompetence. Judith Viorst, author of Necessary Losses, suggests that becoming responsible and adept at managing one’s financial matters represents a true passage into adulthood. This evolution involves communicating effectively with others on money matters
People often ascribe a number of emotions to money, including freedom, trust, selfesteem, guilt, indifference, envy, security, comfort, power, and control. They bring with them the patterns, beliefs, and attitudes that were prevalent in their family oforigin. It is essential to recognize the importance of these emotions. Many people want to hold on to their fiscal autonomy as long as possible, and they may be embarrassed to inquire about how much others even loved ones spend, earn, or owe. For many people, money is an area of self-suspected incompetence. Judith Viorst, author of Necessary Losses, suggests that becoming responsible and adept at managing one’s financial matters represents a true passage into adulthood. This evolution involves communicating effectively with others on money matters
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